December 28, 2012

the wish is my command.

here is that blog post, that i told you about earlier.

well a lot has happened, the past few months. i actually liked a boy? would you like to know where that went? no where. looking back i felt used & treated absolutely terrible. the whole situation just made me so anxious to graduate, & move away.  TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. 

the hard part about the situation is, i like him. i have a feeling the only reason i still do is because he has been the first good guy, since the missionary. & maybe just maybe i thought i could move on. i see the boy constantly, & every time i do, my stomach starts to hurt. if you're a girl, you know exactly what feeling i'm talking about. i do wish they had medicine for that.

its only gotten worse the past couple of days. 
finding out things, that really do hurt. but you have to play it off, like you care more about a stupid tree on the side of the road. i hate acting. don't you ever wonder if people knew exactly who you were & realized how crazy you were, if they would still talk to you?
(thought from perks of being a wall flower)

so to be blunt....i like(d) a boy. 
isn't a mutual feeling.

but everyday,
i wish it was.


  1. The feeling ain't mutual? Heck, that kid must be cray cray! IT's not mutual for a reason though. I can promise you it'll all make sense one day. Much love!!


  2. I'm so sorry! You are so beautiful Sydney. And you are so so SO strong. When you graduate everything will start making more sense. pinky promise. College is SOOOO much better than high school. People actually grow up and stuff.

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  4. the worst feeling in the world. Liking someone so much that doesn't like you back! and there is medicine for that horrid feeling eating at your every inside, its called ice cream, chick flicks, good books and your heavenly father!
    Hang in there sweet girl, I'm rootin for ya (:

  5. First. YOU are so much better than any stupid boy that doesn't treat you well. I don't know you, but I know you... because I know how you are feeling. I have felt used and abused way too many times. Luckily the cycle gets broken by one AMAZING person. BAH. My heart feels for you right now. Boys are difficult. But I promise you there is a good one.

    Second. I feel like I have met you before. Is that creepy?

    Love, The Skinnys