June 26, 2012

the goodbye.

here is the last place I want to share this experience, but here it is. Waking up sunday morning knowing the day has come. The last day for another two whole years that i won't ever see him again. it's a feeling in the pit of my stomach that has yet to go away. To clear up any questions, the goodbye in the little video below this was definitely not our goodbye. Our goodbye consisted of tears streaming down our faces, & I love you being over used. We held each other and cried. I could feel myself falling apart. There was a point when I looked up at him and had to hold my stomach, from losing it. we slowly made the walk to his car. He held me as we walked, I looked up at the moon and thought "this cant be happening, time went so fast". He told me sweet nothing's. He told me I was beautiful. It meant more to me than any other time. We held on to each other. We kissed. The kiss, was enchanting, yet painful. I long for another one. Who knows if or when that could be next. The last thing we did was shake hands. He was becoming my new elder. {he got set apart on Tuesday this was Sunday} his last words were I love you. The last three words I'll hang onto. He got in his car and my heart broke. He drove away. The car got smaller and smaller. Until he was gone. I shouldn't of watched him drive away, It's the last thing in my mind now. I cried all night. I cried myself to sleep, and felt so alone. I miss you Elder Heyman. I love you.


  1. oh my goodness! my heart hurts for you.. i know the feeling all too well. for you see, i waited for not one... but two missionaries! all i can say is that it does get better. you will always miss him, some days so much you won't even want to get out of bed, but it does get better! you will begin to look forward to letters in the mail, emails, packages, phone calls, etc. etc. the first year creeps by, but the second year will fly. soon you'll find yourself peeing your pants with excitement because he's coming home!! in the end it's all worth it, i promise :) my advice to you is to keep yourself busy as can be. do things you love, surround yourself with people you love. this is two years you will never get back. two years to learn and grow and to be selfish.. enjoy it!! now that i've posted literally a novel i will stop haha but seriously if you ever need anything at all (package ideas, advice, venting sessions etc) feel free to email me!!
    love. your newish follower. amy


    p.s. my missionary got home in april, proposed in may, and we are getting married in august :)

  2. tandaschroeder@gmail.com -- Seriously don't hesitate to e-mail me...I know exactly what you are going through as does the girl above this post. ^ ^

    Having a missionary was solely one of the hardest things I've gone through yet. But if I could do it over and over again, I would. I learned so much about myself, our relationship, and what I truly needed. You are one strong woman and I promise you...you will not regret this.

    ♥ xoxo.
    we & serendipity

  3. i feel for you girl. my missionary leaves in novemeber and it hurts more and more every day knowing how close its getting. dont hesitate if you want to talk.

  4. i'm freaking bawling like a baby again! baahh.

    see you next week, love.

  5. this is literally my exact experience. so sad- but in the end it will be soo worth it!