when i come upon the twitter account, instagram, facebook, BLOG, pinterest, or any other type of accounts my heart sinks. the feeling in the pit of my stomach ties up & up in knots. i don't know why i look. i don't know why i do it to myself. i know what's coming every time, yet i still do it. there's nothing i can do. i'm this girl in arizona, who has no control. at times i have felt like i won, but then something brings me back again. life's coming so fast, and time is running out. sometimes i wish certain people were puppets, & i could control every move of theirs. in this case, i'd take the puppet out of the show. pain has been known to be weakness leaving the body. i think i clearly have so much weakness, because that pain wont stop. i over think, & worry myself for no reason. i know it'll work in the end, & worries will go away. i just need to breathe, & focus on myself.
i'm out on the edge, & i'm screaming my name like a fool at the top of my lungs. sometimes when i close my eyes, i pretend i'm alright but it's never enough.
one of those nights i had to let the tears out through writing.