February 21, 2012

happy birthday taylor heyman.

Taylor & Sydney from Sydney Brereton on Vimeo.

birthdays are kind of a big deal for us. that's how our relationship basically started. august 2nd, 2009. taylor wrote me a sweet birthday note which in fact, I still have. {go me} it says "happy birthday! you look pretty cool, I guess we could be friends" that started it all. WHO knew. who knew that the boy that wrote me that silly note, would turn out later to be someone who I fell madly in love with? anyways, it's tay's birthday today. he's the big nineteen. I don't know what to call him. a friend, best friend, lover, past lover, boyfriend, or sadly even an ex? besides all of the "names" I could put to him, he is seriously so great. I have learned so much from him, through him, & even through our relationship. he always sat there & listened to my pointless problems, gave me advice when needed, hugged me CONSTANTLY, made me laugh, wiped my tears, & kept a huge smile on my face. we've been through a lot. actually, correction. we've been through more than a lot. yet no matter what, at the end of every day, through heart ache or not, i'll still love him. he means that much to me. we have so many memories, it's unbelievable. you wouldn't believe how close I hold those to my heart. I'll cherish them forever. Him & I are growing apart, & it hurts. I lay awake at night, cringing to the fact that him & I are over. and what we had is fading each & everyday. when in reality I don't want it to fade. love is a small word, with one huge meaning. we all need to gain the patience that love demands. at this time tay & I are patiently letting life take us away & seeing where it takes us. he's heading off to serve in Chile for two years, in exactly four months. things changed, & they're not how they used to be. he used to live only ten minutes away, now it's ten hours. we used to see each other, with out fail, everyday. now it's...once every two months? if that. I was lucky enough to hear his voice everyday, but now I don't even remember the last time I heard it. we constantly told each other sweet nothings & now I just have to hold them in, & keep them quiet. leading to letting them all out through the tears. as you can see from the video we have so many memories & laughs.
I kind of got of track. this was supposed to be dedicated to taylors birthday. I don't even know if he reads this but, happy birthday tayluh. you deserve a good one. I wish you were here so I could give you a birthday note, or decorate patty like I have in the past. thank you for everything, you truly have made a mark in my life. I miss you beyond belief. I miss the days i was able to tell the whole world you were mine. it's so hard waking up every morning & realizing it really isn't a bad dream. It's reality. I know what we're doing is right & we will be blessed. I love you, I miss you, always remember that. LUBS.
this video was an emotional roller coaster to make.
i miss you so much, it hurts.
leave her home.
im so lucky.


  1. Oh my goodness. This is so heartbreakingly wonderful. I loved that video of you two. It's so sweet. I hope so bad that one day you guys are together again. But even if that doesn't happen, you're right, he will always be a part of you and you'll be better because of it.

  2. thank goodness for a photographer as a best friend. hahaha. i lvoe you sydney! :)